Who Is Asking? Understanding Prayer, Motive, and the Will of God
Prayer is one of the greatest privileges given to believers. Scripture tells us to ask, to seek, to believe, and to remain in Christ. But Pastor Henry S. Cotton, Jr. reminds us that there is another question we must ask before we focus on what we want from God:
Who is asking?
Is it the self-centered version of us, asking God to bless what we have already decided?
Or is it the Spirit-filled believer seeking to remain in the center of God’s will?
That distinction shapes the entire message.
Pastor Cotton begins with two familiar passages about prayer. Matthew 21:22 says that if we believe, we will receive what we ask for in prayer. John 15:7 adds an important condition: if we remain in Christ and His words remain in us, we may ask what we wish and it will be done.
These verses are not blank checks. They describe prayer that flows from belief, obedience, fellowship, and alignment with God.
Believing Means More Than Believing God Exists
Pastor Henry Cotton draws an important distinction between believing in God and believing God.
To believe God means trusting what He says, accepting His commands, receiving His promises, acknowledging His warnings, and ordering our lives accordingly.
Jesus says that those who love Him keep His commandments. So when Scripture says, “If you believe,” that belief is not merely intellectual agreement. It is visible in how we live.
Pastor Cotton explains that remaining in Christ means continuing in His way even when that path is not popular, convenient, or supported by the people around us. It means walking by faith and allowing the Word of God—not culture, family opinion, or personal preference—to direct our steps.
We Do Not Always Know What to Pray For
The central text comes from Romans 8:26–27:
“The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us…”
Pastor Cotton emphasizes the humility contained in those words.
We often think we know exactly what we need.
We think we know which door should open.
We think we know which path should change.
We think we know which problem God should remove.
But Scripture says that we do not always know what we ought to pray for.
The Holy Spirit does.
That is why remaining in fellowship with God matters. When believers remain close to the Lord, they become more sensitive to the leading, guiding, teaching, and correction of the Holy Spirit.
Pastor Cotton describes this as learning to recognize the Spirit’s voice through continued fellowship with God. The more we remain in His presence, seek His direction, and submit to His Word, the less scattered our prayers become.
Prayer Is Not About Getting God to Approve Our Plans
One of the strongest points in the message comes from James 4:3:
“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives…”
Pastor Henry Cotton asks believers to consider whether unanswered prayer sometimes reveals something about the request itself.
We often ask why God has not answered.
But perhaps another question should come first:
What am I actually asking God to do?
Am I asking Him to satisfy my own desires?
Am I asking for something outside His will?
Am I asking for something that may ultimately harm me?
Am I asking Him to bless a decision I never asked Him whether I should make?
Pastor Cotton challenges us to examine whether prayer has become an attempt to recruit God into plans we have already chosen.
That is not surrender.
That is self-direction followed by a request for divine approval.
Ask Before You Decide, Not Only After
There is a significant difference between asking God:
“Will You bless this?”
and asking:
“Is this what You want me to do?”
Pastor Cotton applies this distinction to ordinary decisions.
Is this where God wants me to go?
Is this the school He wants me to attend?
Is this the relationship He wants me to enter?
Is this the path He wants me to leave?
Is this the door He wants opened?
Is this the door He wants closed?
Sometimes the very path we are asking God to remove is the path He intends to use.
Without seeking the Holy Spirit’s guidance, we may be asking God to rescue us from something He is using to shape us.
The Holy Spirit Helps Align Our Prayers With God’s Will
Romans 8 gives believers comfort because prayer does not depend entirely on our ability to find the perfect words.
The Holy Spirit intercedes.
Pastor Henry Cotton explains that while we may stumble through what we think we need, the Spirit knows our hearts and knows the will of God.
The Spirit understands our intentions, our weakness, our confusion, and even the things we cannot properly express.
That does not mean our motives do not matter.
It means that as we remain surrendered to God, the Spirit helps bring our prayers into agreement with God’s will.
The question becomes less:
“How do I get God to give me what I want?”
and more:
“How do I become aligned with what God wants for me?”
Self-Centered Prayer or Spirit-Filled Prayer?
This brings us back to Pastor Cotton’s central question:
Who is asking?
Is it the self-centered me?
The version of me that has already decided what I want and simply wants God to approve it?
Or is it the Spirit-filled me?
The believer who wants to remain in God’s Word, God’s way, and God’s will?
Pastor Cotton urges believers to seek the Lord and invite the Holy Spirit’s direction even before beginning to make requests.
Prayer itself should be Spirit-led.
Not merely our decisions.
Not merely our ministry.
Not merely our public life.
Even our prayers.
God Equips Those He Calls
Pastor Henry Cotton also reminds believers that God does not call His people without providing what is necessary for obedience.
If God tells us to go, He provides a way.
If He tells us to stand, He provides strength.
If He calls someone to preach, teach, serve, or carry out another assignment, He also provides gifts and resources.
But Pastor Cotton adds an important responsibility: believers must develop what God has given them.
The Holy Spirit is our teacher, but that does not eliminate the responsibility to learn, prepare, study, grow, and use the resources God makes available.
God provides the gift.
We are responsible for stewarding it.
A Call to Surrender
The message concludes with both an invitation and a challenge.
For those who do not yet know Jesus Christ personally, Pastor Cotton points to the necessity of being born again and entering into relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ.
For believers who have wandered, the invitation is to return.
And for all believers, the question remains:
Who is asking?
Before we ask God to change the circumstance, open the door, remove the difficulty, bless the relationship, approve the opportunity, or give us what we desire, we should examine the heart behind the prayer.
Are we asking God to support our will?
Or are we seeking His?
Pastor Henry S. Cotton, Jr. leaves us with a simple but searching distinction:
Is it self-centered me asking—or Spirit-filled me?
At St. James Missionary Baptist Church, may our prayers increasingly reflect not merely what we want from God, but our desire to remain in His Word, follow His Spirit, and live in the center of His will.